Episode 1: Page 84 and the Paper Trails
from my ongoing micro-series, Are you there, Jung? It’s me, Margaret.
that paper, though…
Holding up a physical copy of A Man and His Symbols to the computer camera, I say: “Look, mom, I was relatively held back in the preceding pages, and then page 84 happened,” pointing emphatically to a starred, underlined passage:
“As scientific understanding has grown, so our world has become dehumanized.”
A few minutes earlier, I had dissociated so hard at that quote’s power that, while attempting to put pen to paper, I went 45 minutes deep into scouring office-supply sites. I had to find this excellent paper I happened to be writing on. No, the manufacturer isn’t printed anywhere in the notebook.
“80-100 gsm,” said ChatGPT (affectionately, G) about the paper weight. Then I decided I wanted it affordable, precisely 8.75” x 5.8” (yes, I got my ruler out again), preferably with a pocket—or better yet, with 3 subjects! Alas, nothing online will ever replace these precious pages in front of me, I need to feel the paper.
“Wait, ma, can you tell the weight of this paper by looking at it?” I asked (she’s a graphic designer). “Flip the corner and I’ll see,” she said, casually, squinting at pixels. “Looks like 80-100 gsm.” G already told me this! “OKAY, next time we see each other, we’re going notebook shopping.”
Reflecting on this tangent, I realized my dissociative spiral was itself deeply symbolic—my psyche grasping at tangible symbols (like notebook paper) to restore meaning in an overly rationalized, sanitized world (the online marketplace). Jung nailed it:
“The surface of our world seems to be cleansed of all superstitious and irrational elements.” (p. 85)
Stripping away the irrational and symbolic left me hungry, chasing literal paper trails. Perhaps modern technologies—like the AI I consulted or the camera through which I shared Jung's insights—are the collective unconscious reaching outward, attempting to restore lost symbolic connections.
Or perhaps I’m just really picky about notebook paper.